10 Reasons Vladmir Putin Should Live with Me on Brokeback Mountain

Wikipedia tells us that Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin is a Russian politician who has been the President of Russia since May 7, 2012. But to me, he is so much more.  My affinity for “bad boys” runs deep. When I want bad, I go big. And no one is badder than President Putin. I believe that if we broke down some of his mental barriers, we could actually enjoy a sweet life together up there on Brokeback. Here are 10 reasons why:

1. His upper body strength will prove valuable in protecting me from animal attacks and keeping me warm during those cold Wyoming winter nights. 1

2. You know it could be like this. Just like this, always.

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3. He can channel his rage for America into protecting our daughter on the 4th of July from classless hillbilly rednecks.

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4. The man knows his way around a pole.

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5. I like my knights without the shining armor, m’kaaay!

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6. That watch better be waterproof. He knows we don’t have Express for Men up on this damn mountain.

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7. He’s really into bears. They’re his Grindr Tribe. I can be a bear. Woof.

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8. He bought these sunglasses at his first Market Days last year for $10 and he thinks they’re really cute bless his heart.

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9. I don’t like guns. Like, I don’t think they should be legal or anything. But I mean come on. He’s basically Bruce Willis from Die Hard with a rosary, but actually gay. Drool!

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10. I’ve got a thing for DL guys. Sue me. Oh Vladimir, I wish I knew how to quit you.

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-Contributed by Ensemble Member Robin Trevinorobin

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