BREAKING NEWS: Pope excommunicated after being OK with Gay

popeplaneROME – After Pope Francis said Monday that he will not “judge” gays and lesbians – including gay priests, Members of the Vatican Council met the Papal Plane on a Leonardo da Vinci–Fiumicino Airport runway to swiftly throw Francis off their plane.  The Pope was flying back to Rome from Brazil, where he spent the past week celebrating World Youth Day, an international Catholic event that drew millions.

Once the Papal Plane landed at the Rome Airport, the members of the Vatican Council climbed the airstairs to the plane and grabbed the former pope and threw him down the stairway.  The angry mob of parishioners shouting slurs such as “You’re not one of us!,”  “God has fled from your soul!,”   and “I bet this has something to do with us holding your conclave next to a bathhouse!”

Emergency crews were on the scene immediately and the Ex-Pope was rushed to Ospedale Santo Spirito Hospital to treat what appears to be a compound fracture from the fall.

When the church was reached for comment , they simply re-stated the same ideals it has clung to for the last 2000 years – A love for God and unborn babies but standing by their hatred of gays and women.  With a final comment of  “Don’t even get me started about the lesbians…”

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