Janet Huckabee “Stands by her Man”

HOPE, AR – Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee is not sleeping on the couch tonight – and it is not because his wife wasn’t mortified by his statements to the Republican National Committee at their annual luncheon on Thursday. At the Washington luncheon, Gov. Huckabee alluded to the fact that Democrats were trying to win over […]

Internet Shocked to Learn Nelly Furtado Released New Album a Year and a Half Ago

    HOLLYWOOD – The Internet is abuzz with shocking news today: that beloved, platinum-selling pop artist Nelly Furtado released a full album of all-new material over a year and a half ago and somehow no one noticed. The album, The Spirit Indestructible, which included 12 new songs, four strongly produced singles and five high-quality videos, sold […]

Metro Rails on Homosexist Edge With Sexy Ad

Doesn’t it seem that gay men can’t ever stop blabbing annoyingly about shoes? Well, the folks behind a new marketing campaign for Washington, D.C.’s Metro agree, and have dedicated one of their poster designs of the idea just to prove it. The ad features a photo of a woman and gay man conversing. The woman […]

Hawaii Finally Comes To Terms With Its License Plates, Passes Gay Marriage

  HONOLULU–Hawaiian Governor Neil Abercrombie is poised to sign a gay marriage bill that recently passed the state’s House and Senate, which would finally make the Aloha State as gay-friendly as its incredibly gay license plates. “Love is love, ke aloha is ke aloha,” said Abercrombie on Wednesday morning. “I’m proud to be from a […]

Gay Marriage Passes in Illinois: Still Illegal to Marry a Goat

SPRINGFIELD – With the passage of SB10 today in the Illinois House, the question still hangs in the balance, what is to become of the love between man and goat? Spokesman Niko Greenwich from Equal Ma-a-arraige Now laments, “Sure, we’re happy for the gays, but what about the consensual love between a (wo)man and their goat? Also, […]

Spike in Gold Lamé Fabric Internet Sales in IL

CHICAGO- As the Illinois General Assembly starts the floor debate on same sex marriage, Amazon.com and other major online retailers are reporting an upswing in gold lamé fabric sales.  Since the announcement a little under an hour ago that a same sex marriage vote would happen today, online lamé fabric sales have increased 233% in the state […]

GOP Errorist Cell Uncovered

  WASHINGTON – After landing a deadly attack of misinformation to it’s sworn enemy, the U.S. government, and the Great Satan, Barack Obama, GOP error cells around the Beltway Zone have effectively shut down the American government. The misinformation blast targeted Obamacare, claiming incorrectly that it would destroy humanity as we know it, but due […]

How Will Empty Nest End?

    HOLLYWOOD – After airing its jaw-dropping penultimate episode, beloved NBC sitcom Empty Nest has taken the Internet by storm with speculation as to how this dark, violent modern epic will end. The second-to-last episode, My Pal Valy-Val, saw the iconic, disturbed, anti-hero pediatrician Dr. Harry Weston go on a camping trip to get […]

SPOILER: Breaking Bad to End With Esther Williams-Style Musical Number

    HOLLYWOOD – As anticipation for the series finale of the AMC series Breaking Bad hits a fever pitch, insiders have revealed the story of chemistry-teacher-turned-meth-kingpin Walter White will end with an all-out Esther Williams-style aquatic musical number. “For us, we wanted to end with a bang, and with something unexpected,” said series creator […]

Clarissa Explains Hashtags

By Clarissa Darling Let’s face it, getting old is tough and it’s hard to keep up with the times.  My mom and stepfather think they are tech savvy just because they figured out how to text me. Last night at dinner, mom asked me what a hashtag was. I put my head in my hands […]

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