Hurricane to Collide With Shitstorm

  TAMPA, FL – As the Republican leaders gear up for for the big Republican National Convention, meterologists are worried that Tropical Storm Isaac — on track to become a hurricane — will collide with the enormously dangerous shitstorm set to brew over Tampa on Tuesday. “This is an unprecedented weather event,” said Dawn Patterson, director of […]

Happy 25th Birthday to the GAYEST theatre we know!

The Annoyance Theater turns 25 years old this year and they are celebrating this weekend with one hell of a well-deserved party. GayCo is proud to have frequently appeared on the Annoyance stage; we  have always been welcomed with open arms into their twisted world.  With a long standing commitment to producing shows with strong […]

Thousands Line Up To Register For Type II Diabetes

DAYTONA BEACH, FL – Across the nation, thousands of Americans lined up at their local Chick-Fil-A restaurants to register for Type II Diabetes in what is being hailed as one of the disease’s most successful recruitment events ever. “We’re overjoyed with the response,” said Eileen Farmsworth, a sales rep for Novo Nordsik, the world’s leading producer of insulin. […]

Gymnast MyKylyylye Brewer Favored Win Gold in 2016, Based Solely On Number of Ys in Her Name

  LONDON – While the media is abuzz about the U.S. Women’s dominating and inspiring gold medal victory in women’s gymnastic at the XXX Olympiad, pundits are already looking ahead to 2016 and putting their money on 14-year-old Corpus Cristi, Texas, native MyKylyylye Brewer. “MyKylyylye has everything,” says U.S. assistant gymnastic coordinator Rhonda Sherman. “She’s […]

Chick-Fil-A Just Wants First Time To Be Special, Says Tragic and Oblivious Girlfriend

COLLEGE PARK, GEORGIA – Even though they’ve been dating for more than 7 years, Abigail Johnston and fast food chain Chick-Fil-A are in no hurry to take things to the next level. “Chick-Fil-A just wants the first time to be really special,” said Johnston as she looked vacantly into the distance. “He just gets tired after we gorge on […]

America Turns 236, Can Finally Retire

WASHINGTON D.C. – After more than 200 years in the workforce, America is finally able to afford to retire, according to lawmakers on Capitol Hill. America has a long history of odd and low-paying jobs. It entered the workforce as an operator of an Eli Whitney cotton gin, was an Indian river guide in the 1850s, worked at […]

CNN, Fox News Report Anderson Cooper is Heterosexual, a Day Bed

  NEW YORK – Botching the biggest coming out story of the summer, cable news titans CNN and Fox News accidentally misinterpreted an email from CNN acnhor Anderson Cooper to political columnist Andrew Sullivan and accidentally reported that Cooper was completely heterosexual. “We have breaking news from New York,” announced Wolf Blitzer minutes after Sullivan posted Cooper’s coming out email […]

Tom Cruise And Katy Holmes Divorce, Cite Irreconcilable Thetans

    HOLLYWOOD CA – One thing is “clear”: the fairytale romance between Tom Cruise and Katy Holmes is over and they’ve cited “irreconcilable thetans” as their reason. A source close to the couple says the couple couldn’t agree on which level of Scientology auditing constituted being “clear” of thetans, or the highly controlling alien souls […]

BREAKING: Justice Scalia Cries Himself to Sleep Again

WASHINGTON D.C. – After being dealt a surprise loss at the Supreme Court Thursday morning when the SCOTUS voted 5-4 to uphold Obamacare, Justice Antonin Scalia returned to his home, collapsed face-first into his train-print pillow, kicked his legs until he was exhausted, and sobbed himself to sleep again. “He was really upset by the decision,” […]

Gay Men’s Choir Ends Concert With Haunting Version of ‘Chow Down (At Chik-Fil-A)’

  PHILADELPHIA – After an hour of performing creative and stirring interpretations from the Great American Songbook, the Philadelphia Gay Men’s Concert Choir closed their annual June concert with a deeply haunting version of ‘Chow Down (At Chik-Fil-A)’ to a rapturous audience. “There wasn’t a dry eye in the house,” said concertgoer Phyllis Booker. “When [soprano] […]

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