In case you missed Breast in Show last month or you just need more GayCo ladies in your life, join us for the “Women of GayCo” at the 2nd annual Chicago Women’s Funny Festival (CWFF) this Friday at 8pm.

R.E.A.C.H. (Risky, Eclectic Artists Comedy Hour) returns for it’s summer monthly show celebrating LGBTQ awareness hosted by local stand-up and WBEZ’s Vocalo Radio’s Brian Babylon.

There are several featured acts (including GayCo!) for this one-night-only of gender queer homo friendly sketches, stories and songs.

Click HERE for purchasing tickets and more details!

Acts include:

Comedienne: Ever Mainard
Storyteller: Caitlin Bergh
Burlesque performer:  Tamale Sepp
Solo performer: Osiris Khephera
Satirical rap group: Marson & FYF Crew
Sketch: GayCo Productions
DnA
and special guest: 2012 Windy City Times Gay Idol – Robert Hughes

R.E.A.C.H.
Second City’s UP Comedy Club
Sunday, June 9, 2013, 7pm
60 minutes, no intermission
230 W. North Ave, (3rd floor of Piper’s Alley), Chicago
Regular ticket price is $13

Gayl-lebrity schedule:

Friday June 21st – Tracy Baim – Editor of the Windy City Times and Chicago Gay Historian Extraordinaire

Saturday June 22nd – Jim Bennett – Midwest Regional Director of Lambda Legal and a Grand Slam Winner of the Moth Radio Hour 

Friday June 28th – Adam LeBlanc – Lead singer of everyone’s favorite 80′s cover band and all around teen heartthrob 

 Saturday June 29th - Kirk Williamson – Editor of Nightspots Magazine and around town socialite

To reserve or pay by credit card in advance - http://marriedbutstillslutty.eventbrite.com

To pay cash and pick up at Will Call  - Email reservations@the-playground.com or call (773) 871-3793.

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(The Playground Theatre is BYOB)

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Opening Night has All Star Improvisors!

This Friday, Chicago’s best improvisers,  TJ Jagodowski (The Sonic Guy) and Noah Gregoropoulos (Close Quarters) ,join the GayCo ensemble to bring the funny!  You are not going to want to miss this!

GayCo Productions was formed out of the famed Second City in 1996. For 17 years, it has produced thought-provoking and irreverent sketch comedy revues where gay is always the given and never the punchline.

The Playground Theatre
3209 N Halsted St

Chicago, IL 60657

(773) 871-3793

Red line – Belmont Stop

3209 N. Halsted St., Chicago

Tickets are $12

GayCo heads to the ‘burbs!

For those of you suburbanites that lothe treking into the big, bad city, GayCo is coming to you!

Save the date!

 **  AUGUST 17, 2013, 7pm  **

GayCo will be at The Metropolis in Arlington Heights, IL, presenting best-of material from the past.  Nostolgia never felt so good!

Details are
HERE!

Groups Save!

Call 847.577.5982 x228 to book your group and save up to 20%.

We are working on a brand new sketch revue that previews on Saturday August 31st, 2013 at 7:30pm and runs for 8 weeks at Second City’s Donny’s Skybox.

More details to come….

NEW YORK – Every single member of a recent all-male panel on Fox News’s Lou Dobbs Tonight that thoughtfully discussed the controversy of female breadwinners was confirmed to be the best at sex, sources says. The panel of indisputable sex champions consisted of host Dobbs, analyst Juan Williams, Red State contributor Erik Erickson and someone named Doug Schoen.

The men each asserted that males serve a “dominant” role in marriages while women should shut up, stay at home and wait for their men to come home and fuck them really, really good. Just like, so good, every single time.

Erickson, who has been known to thoroughly please women for hours upon hours with his doughy frame and not-tiny, not-constantly-sad penis, insisted that science states that men are the dominant gender and women making more money than men is “tearing [society] apart, and also threatening to my ability to sex up an overly whiny woman’s vagina until her silly fever of emotions breaks and she remembers that I am The Man.”

Sources also confirm that Williams has the greatest penis in history, Schoen can motorboat a woman better than any porn star ever, and having sex with Lou Dobbs is sitting on the face of God times a trillion.

In a recent Fox News poll, 1,000% of women would have sex with any of these men at a drop of a hat and be their personal sex slaves forever, because they are just that manly and virile. The poll was conducted by Dobbs, Erickson, Schoen and Williams, and answered only by them.

(This is a fake news article brought to you by your friendly neighborhood GayCo)

ST. PAUL – Eight-year member of Congress Avenue bathhouse Man Spa Marcus Bachmann won’t seek re-erection after a recent visit left him embroiled in a finance scandal. Bachmann, a six-time mayor of Man Spa of Foursquare and a leading figure in the spa’s recent teabagging movement, has decided to spend more time with wife and brunch-mate Michele.

“While I’ve enjoyed my time at Man Spa, I’ve decided there are better and more discreet ways for me to service the men of Minnesota,” Bachmann announced in video to his supporters on Xtube.

Some pundits theorize that the recent passing of gay marriage in Minnesota may have made Bachmann’s mayorship of Man Spa vulnerable. Others speculate that Bachmann’s recent financial scandal, where his credit card did not work at the lubrication vending machine, may have led to his decision to leave Man Spa for good.

“I love Minnesota, and America, and will bend over backwards, and frontwards, and sidewards, to help the men of this great state achieve their goals,” said Bachmann. “In some ways, my work is just beginning.”

Bachmann and wife Michele have kept a low profile since the announcement, and were recently spotted belt shopping at Talbot’s. Sources say Michele was droning on about something frivolous while Marcus, continually distracted by male passersby, nodded and offered occasional “Uh-huhs” and “Oh wows.”

(This is a fake news story brought to you by GayCo Gaybits!)

By Fake Journalist, The GayCo Fake News Gazette

COLUMBUS, S.C. – With 99 percent of precincts reporting, South Carolina looks to be the first state to mandate the teaching of Argentinean Mistressing in all K-12 public schools.

The state-wide proposition, nicknamed the Three to Tango Initiative, was supported by a whopping 84 percent of the South Carolina electorate. The other 16 percent either voted no, or had Cheeto residue smudging their choice.

“This is a win for all the children of South Carolina,” said the proposition’s author, former governor and U.S. representative-elect Mark Sanford. “Now, kids will receive in education that’s perfectly in line with today’s core Christian, conservative values.”

Religious leaders across the state are also celebrating, as they went to the pulpit in favor of Three to Tango, also known as No Child Left Behind In a Sexless Marriage Without Knowing That He Can Fly to Argentina For Some Sweet, Sweet Relief.

“God created Adam and Eve,” said Pastor Nelson Sinclair, a Blythewood resident, in a speech to his congregation last Wednesday. “And then God created Argentina when Adam got bored of Eve. It’s in the Bible.”

Three to Tango is designed to introduce concepts of Argentinean Mistressing in increments. Kindergarteners and First Graders will learn that Argentina exists and its people are attractive. Older students will learn how to buy airfare to Buenos Aires with only 48 hours notice. High school-age kids will then learn how to pray to Jesus for forgiveness immediately following sexual activity with an Argentinean mistress.

Schools across South Carolina are already putting up tablets engraved with the 10 Excuses To Give Your Wife, right next to the 10 Commandments.

“Literally the most important thing we need to teach our youth is that they can do anything, anything at all, as long as they say Jesus forgives them after they do it,” said Sanford. “Read any part of the Bible. It’s just men doing shitty thing after shitty thing and saying God told them to do it.”

Opponents, however, say that mandating the teaching of extramarital affairs in schools sends the wrong signal to our youth.

“We’re all so, so fucked,” said Nancy Berkley, a superintendent for district 7 schools in Myrtle Beach. “God, we are fucked. And not in the good, Argentinean way.”

Three to Tango is the first in a wider swath of education initiatives proposed by South Carolina’s Republican establishment, including ones that mandates teaching spinning guns on fingers (Proposition Bang Bang Bang!), one that would introduce gay bashing in all physical education classes (The Smear the Queer Act), and an abstinence-only-unless-the-guy-looks-like-Rush-Limbaugh-in-which-case-you’re-obligated-because-you’re-ugly-and-he-will-make-you-feel-pretty sex education program for girls (Proposition God Wants You To Be A Hooters Waitress).

We see them at the bar, the softball fields, the festivals.  That group of cool lesbians on the prowl.  Like any pack animal there is a natural pecking order.  The suave alpha leader, the young pups, the loser at the bottom.   Which one are you?  Take this quiz to find out.    And come see GayCo’s  She-wolves in action at “Breast in Show”.  Sunday nights at 7:30pm at pH Theater running until May 26!!

She-Wolf Quiz

Got your result of the quiz?  See who you are below!!

AMY

Amy is the alpha.  She’s the one in charge and nobody messes with her.  When the pack is on the hunt for ladies she always gets first choice.  If you can’t be an Amy, you at least want to be the one she picks.  The crowd ain’t the only thing that will part when she walks in the room.  (your legs.  we are talking about your legs)

BEATRICE

Beatrice, the second in charge,  has a brain in her head.  She could lead the pack but is just buying her time.  This lady may look sweet but she always has a plan.  Not as aggressive as Amy but she can get rough if you know what we mean.   Oh wait, rough is a pun. Like ruff.  Hilarious.  And she can kayak.

GIGI

Gigi doesn’t like conflict.  She just wants to hang out and stay cool.  The type of girl that will want to go to Taco Bell at 3am in the morning.  Or at noon.  Especially at 4:20.  You may find her in dreds or with no hair at all.  She don’t care.

DEE-DEE AND ELAINE

The youngest of the pack and they usually come in pairs.  They are always messing around with something or someone.   There is no such thing as a walk of shame for these girls.  They have alot of energy for sports and are always on the the hunt for the most dangerous game:  lesbians.  Some of them can be mean.

MEG

Meg is the runt of the pack.  The only girl she’s getting is the one the others don’t want.  She’s often asked to come along only to be the designated driver.    Although most of the pack make fun of her they will all protect her if threatened by another pack.  Better to be Meg than not in a pack at all.

By Gwyneth Paltrow* (reposted from her lifestyle site GOOP.com)

It’s one of those days: You’re sunning peacefully on your yacht in Monte Carlo and sipping an organic carrot juice spritzer as part of a seven-day juice fast to get ready for Paris Fashion Week when suddenly the phone rings and you’re cast in a blockbuster superhero franchise and you’re suddenly at the mercy of shooting schedules and craft services. Don’t you hate when that happens? I do too! Holla to the moms out there!

How do you balance your organic, holistic lifestyle with on-location shoots and unreliable catering? How do you keep your beauty regimen up despite your character’s reddish bangs?

Next time you land a role as a sexy, smart female assistant to a quippy superhero in an all-star comic book blockbuster adaptation, remember these 5 easy tips to keeping that tummy trim and your spirit fed!

Bring Your Own Kimchi

It’s the age-old dilemma: The spiced Korean vegetable selection on your film’s craft services spread is obviously lacking, but you don’t want to make a fuss and be labeled as difficult and fired and replaced by Emma Stone. Here’s a timeless solution: Have your assistant store sixteen to twenty-four individual, hand-blown Italian glass containers filled with kimchi in your self-refrigerated Dolce & Gabana seal skin picnic basket. Then, once on set, simply ask for a large artisan refrigerator in your trailer, chill and eat during breaks or whenever you have a craving!

Tell The Director Your Bikram Yoga Guru is Your Cousin

I wouldn’t dare step on set without Rishki, my Bikram Yoga guru. I can’t afford an extra tummy fat when I’m filming my reaction shots to Robert Downey Jr.’s sort-of-humorous, long-winded monologues about new Iron Man suit technology. However, some directors don’t like shirtless Indian men with crystals glued to their chest hanging around set (apparently boom mikes can pick up their finger chimes), so simply tell the director Rishki is your cousin Lloyd and he’s working on a paper for a college class. If the director doesn’t believe you, simply burst into tears and run away to your trailer and slam the door three or four times. Then, after five minutes, return and apologize to everyone and tell the director you are in love with his vision. Remember to have your assistant offer the gaffers some of your homemade chard-and-tarragon ceviche! You don’t want to be replaced by Emma Stone.

No Voss Water Colonics On Stunt Day!

I know, I know. It’s hard for me to go even a day without four or five lavender-infused Voss Water colonics, too. But as all us ladies know, if you thanklessly star in enough male-dominated installations of a blockbuster superhero movie franchise, your helpless character might eventually get to do cool stuff! This means you’ll have to do stunts, like duck gunfire or hold tightly to Robert Downey Jr. while dangling in front of a green screen. Save your colonics for days where you won’t be upside down or running. Trust me! I learned the hard way. They might as well have called my movie Sliding Doors, Sliding Drawers! Holla! Oh, and when you DO have a colonic, try adding a pinch of truffle oil to the water. It’ll take years off of your colon!

Sobbing About Your Career = Great Ab Workout!

Sure, you may be starring in what’s sure to be the summer’s biggest hit. And you’ve may have just been named People Magazine’s Most Beautiful Woman in the World. But a true actress knows she has to sob about the trajectory of her career at least twice while on set, mostly because it’s a fantastic way to tone up those abs! First, sit in the director’s chair. Next, as your assistant tries to feed you your kimchi, try sobbing for five seconds with your chest in your lap. Then, slowly sit straight up to swat away co-stars’ hands as they try to console you. Repeat 6-8 times. For your obliques, try sobbing in the opposite direction of the director, who is trying to get you to get out of his chair. Hold for sixty seconds and then turn and face your director and scream about how worthless you feel, while holding that side for sixty seconds as well. Repeat 6-8 times.

Steal All Your Character’s Jewelry

Just snatch that shit up on the last day. All of it. Get Rishki or whatever the fuck his name is to pull the Fiat around and keep it running and just BAM! Put it all in your empty kimchi containers and hide in your artisan picnic basket and say your goodbyes then run and jump in the back seat and yell “GO GO GO!” Then wear all that jewelry later and tell Melissa Rivers on the red carpet it’s $10,000 of Tiffany/Buccellati/Harry Winston, because she don’t fuckin’ know. Fuck her. Don’t be a little bitch, just steal it. It’s the last day of shooting. What are they going to do? Replace you with Emma Stone?

Holla to the moms out there!

*Not actually written by Gwyneth Paltrow, who we hear is delightful