UHAUL PORN

FOR THE LADIES…

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Uhaul #1

 

 

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Uhaul #7Uhaul 7uhaul #8Uhaul1UHaul3uhaul#6

 

 

 

 

 

Uhaul #9

Uhaul #2

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10 Ways to Use Poppers at Work

CAUTION

Gay guys love poppers

This why you should keep an extra bottle at work…

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1. Key Board Sanitizer

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Everyone in the office is sick, No Clorox wipes to be found, pull your poppers
out and pour on a paper towel,
wipe down your mouse and
keyboard. Voilà!

 

 

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2. Air Deodorizer

Let’s face it, your co-workers are stanky! Well… open up a bottle of poppers, it’s guaranteed to over power their BO, I mean have you ever spilled that stuff on your bed?!?

 

 

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3. A Quick Getaway

Constantly looking for a way to getaway while sitting at your desk?

Get upset by everyone else’s ‘look at me, I’m at the beach and you’re fucking stuck at your desk during Polar Vortex #12′ pictures?

Well take a stiff of poppers and you won’t know/won’t care where you’re at for the next 30 secs of your life.

 

 

 

    4. Gum Out of the Carpet                      

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 You laughed really hard at the cute guy that sits across from you, gum flew out of your mouth, now it’s a black stain on the carpet. Pour poppers on it, it’ll come right out! #MarthaStewart

 

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5. Flavor your Boss’ Yogurt

Not recommended, but if the Activia is just sitting there…

 

 

 

6. ‘Out’ Your Closeted Co-worker

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Set poppers out on your desk.  When co-workers ask what they are, tell them “a new type of 5 hour energy.” If they ask WHY DO YOU HAVE POPPERS ON YOUR DESK?!?  Bust them! And then ask them on a date.

 

 

 

 

7. Nail Polish Remover

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Your Co-worker’s cracked, peeling nail polish is driving you crazy as she wrap-a-tap-taps her nails on her desk – Poppers+Kleenex will take that shit right off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

8. Cleaning the Office VHS Machine

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I don’t know. No one owns a VHS but that’s what Beatnix makes me call them when purchasing so they must be good at cleaning VHS machines.  Maybe your job still has one that needs cleaning…?

 

 

 

 9. Burn the Place Down

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Who hasn’t thought about doing this?!? A gas can is too bulky to sneak in.  Poppers are portable and highly flammable.

 

 

 

 

10. Having Sex in the Washroom

Bathroom

It’s bathroom sex.  It needs to be quick.  Poppers help.

 

 If you would like to purchase fresh poppers – CLICK HERE

 

Written by ensemble member @claygoodpasture

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Top 5 Things I Gave Up For Lent

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Like everyone else in the entire world, I grew up Catholic.  And like everyone else in the world I used to get an ash cross temporarily tattooed to my forehead.  Its Ash Wednesday today!  The beginning of Lent!  For those people who don’t know, Lent is the season before Easter. Or, more importantly, the Filet’O’Fish Season.   It used to be that Catholics would try to fast for 40 days (46 days really) to symbolize the sacrifice that Jesus made for us.

Jesus’ life = food

Then that was too hard so they just stopped eating on Fridays.

Jesus’s life = hungry Fridays

Then THAT got too hard so they just gave up meat on Fridays.  The cows, goats, chickens and turkeys all gave a sigh of relief.  But not the fishes!!  They aren’t meat.  They are….well….I don’t what they are but the pope says it ain’t meat so it ain’t meat.  Stop questioning it.  That’s very unCatholic of you.

Jesus’s life = meat

But the most exciting part of Lent is everyone gives up something for the 40 days (46 days really) of Lent.  This was always a hard choice for me.  40 days (46 days really) is a long time.  And I wanted it to count.  Jesus gave up his life for me.  I had to find something that would parallel.

5) Jesus’ Life = Chocolate

No one had ever thought of giving up chocolate for Lent before I did it in 4th grade.  I started it.  Just ask anyone.  Of course on Easter Sunday I gorged myself with chocolate.  More chocolate than I would have eaten the entire 40 days (46 days really).

4) Jesus’ Life = Being mean to people

This was probably the closest I came to what Jesus sacrificed himself for.  But, virtually impossible when you’re in 6th grade and every day is an episode of All My Children.

3)  Jesus’ Life = Lying

I totally really didn’t lie for 40 days (46 days really).  For real.

2)  Jesus’ Life = Not Making a Funny Face While Dancing

This was the toughest thing for me to give up.  Look in the mirror next time you dance.  You make a face, or your hands are doing something weird.  Its impossible.  Give it a try this Lent.  Its a tough one.

1)  Jesus’ Life = Giving Up Things for Lent

The most successful thing I gave up for Lent was giving up things for Lent.  Yes, to the dismay of all the saints and popes, I know longer practice this ritual anymore.  But I did decide one Lental season that I would give up giving up things for Lent.  And I prevailed.  Just like Jesus did.

Disclaimer:  I’m not a Historian or a Theologian.  I am a product of Catholic School.  If you find a discrepancy with my history lesson, take it up with the Catholic school system.  And my parents.

Kelly Beeman

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Ellen Sentenced to Testosterone, 20-hour Felicity Huffman Playdate After ‘Transphobic’ Oscar Joke

OSCARS - 86th Annual Academy Awards, Dolby Theatre, Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES COUNTY – Oscar host Ellen Degeneres called Liza Minnelli “sir” during Sunday’s broadcast and created a firestorm of controversy among trans activists. In a shocking turn of events, 2nd Superior Court Judge Lee Smalley Edmon handed down a sentence of three months of testosterone injections and mandatory face-to- face time with Felicity Huffman (star of Transamerica) on Tuesday evening. While no case was presented to the judge on the matter, he was so appalled after reading about DeGeneres’ transphobic joke on E! News, that he had to issue swift justice. A source close to the matter also claims Degeneres was also sentenced to binge-watch the entire first season of Orange is the New Black.

 

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5 Reasons to Donate to GayCo’s Fives of March

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You! Yes you! You’re a gal on the go, busy reading Facebook links about Russian hijinks and the new cast of Dancing With the Stars (hayyy DJ Tanner!) But where does much of this content that distracts you from your job come from? It comes from writers. And comedians. And gay people.

GayCo is an ensemble of talented LGBTQ and LGBTQ-friendly comedians and writers. We hit the perfect trifecta of Facebook feed content creators, therefore, GayCo is possibly the most important organization in the world.

Here are five great reasons to give to our March fundraiser The Fives of March!

 

1. We’re Sexy
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Oooh, damn gurl! Look at those hotties! Is that the set of Britney Spears’ video for “Gimme More 2: I Am Still in Need of Some”? NO! It’s your friendly neighborhood GayCo, performing like red-hot sexpots, because of sexiness. Don’t get to close to your computer screen, or you gonna get BURNTTT.

 

2. We Were Once Directed By Tina Fey’s Husband Tina-Fey-SAG-Awards-Earrings

Rumor has it she may have brought snacks to a GayCo rehearsal once or twice, back in the mid-90s when GayCo was still a frisky club twink. So, basically, one or more of us may have eaten food purchased or baked by Liz Lemon herself, once or twice, about twenty years ago. FAMOUS PEOPLE LOVE US BEFORE THEY ARE FAMOUS!

 

3. We’re 78% Vodka

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86% on weekends. And it’s a known fact that vodka is the primary fuel needed to create great gay comedy, so we are essentially bursting with excellence/Absolut Berry Acai.

 

4.  We’re Non-Profit!

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We gave up profits and carbs a long time ago because of a really great article we read on FitnessMoms.com. It’s been great! We have SO much energy/moments of uncontrolled sobbing now! Seriously, by being a non-profit, we can put our primary focus on creating awesome comedy for the masses. But, we can’t do it without generous (and completely TAX DEDUCTIBLE!) donations from our supporters. We’d go back and ask our message boards at FinessMoms.com, but we’re banned because we admitted we don’t understand yoga pants.

 

5. It’ll Make You Feel Great!

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Wheeee!! See how much fun that was? You helped a great organization continue to create rockstar LGBTQ comedy and enrich the sketch comedy world with its unique-like-Pharrell-Williams’-mounty-hat, challenging point of view.

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