VIDEO: GayCo Takes Sochi Talk to the Streets

Putin

GayCo interviews people on the street to find out their feelings about the Olympics in Sochi, Russia.  These are their stories…

 

 

 

10 Reasons Vladmir Putin Should Live with Me on Brokeback Mountain

Wikipedia tells us that Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin is a Russian politician who has been the President of Russia since May 7, 2012. But to me, he is so much more.  My affinity for “bad boys” runs deep. When I want bad, I go big. And no one is badder than President Putin. I believe that if we broke down some of his mental barriers, we could actually enjoy a sweet life together up there on Brokeback. Here are 10 reasons why:

1. His upper body strength will prove valuable in protecting me from animal attacks and keeping me warm during those cold Wyoming winter nights. 1

2. You know it could be like this. Just like this, always.

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3. He can channel his rage for America into protecting our daughter on the 4th of July from classless hillbilly rednecks.

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4. The man knows his way around a pole.

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5. I like my knights without the shining armor, m’kaaay!

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6. That watch better be waterproof. He knows we don’t have Express for Men up on this damn mountain.

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7. He’s really into bears. They’re his Grindr Tribe. I can be a bear. Woof.

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8. He bought these sunglasses at his first Market Days last year for $10 and he thinks they’re really cute bless his heart.

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9. I don’t like guns. Like, I don’t think they should be legal or anything. But I mean come on. He’s basically Bruce Willis from Die Hard with a rosary, but actually gay. Drool!

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10. I’ve got a thing for DL guys. Sue me. Oh Vladimir, I wish I knew how to quit you.

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-Contributed by Ensemble Member Robin Trevinorobin

VIDEO: Johnny Needs Some Olympic Cheer

Putin

Johnny needs some Olympic Cheer

VIDEO: Googling with GayCo – Sochi Edition

Putin

Kelly Looks for Delicious Russian Cocktail Recipes

 

 

Sochi Hotel Guests Long for Luxury of Gulags

fancy prisonSOCHI, RUSSIA-While reporters from across the world have been tweeting about their distressed hotels with various states of dis-repair and oddities, the local prison is nothing short of luxury.  The lobby of the Otkryti Dvor prison is not under construction and is actually opulently well built, all the while being functionally secure.
It is reported that the prisoner accommodations are quite nice too.  “Cells are provided with a complete set of solid platinum fixtures, cozy mink sheets, and marble zen fountains,” says Dimetri Volovoyavigch a housekeeper employed by the prison.  “Mind you, these extravagant prison suites are not used for the flagitious, like burglars, and murders, and terrorists,” said Warden Yevgeny Pomerantenko.  This penitentiary is primarily reserved for the large amount of offenders anticipated to break the gay-propaganda law during the Winter Olympics.
Journalists were unable to see the prison suites for the safety of the prisoners, staff, and media, but accommodations were described to include door frames made of an edge-grain walnut with a medium Roman ogee treatment and specially designed walls made from meteoric stones with shavings of 65 million year old original dinosaur bone.”
No tweets or photos exist of these palaces since electronic devices are forbidden past the lobby.  “You will just have to trust us,” said guard Igor Kadyrosev.  Another guard Sergei Vitishkosev added, “There is no discrimination against homosexuals here, these people live like kings.  It is like nothing they could afford with their disposable incomes.”
(Update:  Prisoners convicted of crimes such as burglary, murder, and terrorism are staying at the same incomplete hotels as the Olympic reporters.  Sleep tight!)
By Ensemble Member Kathy Betts
@kathygbetts
kathy

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