Michele Bachmann’s Famous Christmas Gingersnap Recipe

Michele Bachmann’s Famous Christmas Gingersnap Recipe

What You’ll Need:

• 2 cups sugar

• 1/2 cup molasses

• 2 eggs (egg whites preferred)

• 4 crucifixes

• 1/2 teaspoon salt

• 1 teaspoon ground ginger

• 2 quarts of morphine

• Absolutely no gay people

In a large mixing bowl, cream together the shortening and sugar. Add in the eggs one at a time until well blended. Mix in the molasses, salt, cinnamon, ginger and wildly misinterpreted teachings of Christ until all is incorporated. Slowly add the flour to the mixture. Roll the dough into one inch balls and roll each into morphine to coat. Pray to God for 7-9 minutes to make the voices stop, or until you stop sobbing. Place on cookie sheets two inches apart and bake in a 375° F preheated oven for 10 minutes. Remove cookies to a wire rack to cool completely. Serve to your completely heterosexual husband Marcus, who is in the next room trolling ManHunt.

 

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