Internet Shocked to Learn Nelly Furtado Released New Album a Year and a Half Ago




HOLLYWOOD – The Internet is abuzz with shocking news today: that beloved, platinum-selling pop artist Nelly Furtado released a full album of all-new material over a year and a half ago and somehow no one noticed.

The album, The Spirit Indestructible, which included 12 new songs, four strongly produced singles and five high-quality videos, sold a mystifyingly low 6,000 copies in its first week despite wide promotion and months of lead-up time between its lead-off single’s release and the album’s release.

“We screamed from the rafters that she had a new album out,” said Nelly Furtado fan club president Edna Furtado. “We tweeted, we Facebooked, we sent mailers with free samples of the jams I make from the elderberries in my back yard. We couldn’t get anyone to notice.”

“All this time, I’ve been waiting for a follow-up to Nel’s smash hit album Loose, and lo and behold it was released in September 2012 and I didn’t even notice,” said Furtado fan Emily Swanson. “I guess I was running errands that day or something.”

“Wait, Nelly did what? Are you sure? I didn’t hear a damn thing about it,” said music blogger Nate Richland, who later was delighted to discover he loved the phantom album. “How the hell was this album not a huge, enormous hit? It’s amazing!”

Twitter was also rocked by this revelation. Some sample Tweets from fans include:


@NellyFismyGoddess: OMG new Nel album was JUST released a year and a half ago! I’m DYING! OMGZ!


@FurtadoForever: THIS IS NOT A DRILL! New-ish Nelly Furtado music is NOW available and apparently has been for a year and three months! Almost two years if you count the release of her single Big Hoops! #blesst


@Imlikeabirdiwantoflyagay: Long live the QUEEN of getting occasional Juno Award nominations (the Canadian Grammys)! Nel 4va!


@Maneater5000: I missed Nel’s new album? I don’t know where my home is. I don’t know where my soul is. #crushed #inconspicuousgurl #youteasingme


@beyonce: I am officially announcing my retirement from music. #nellydoesitbetter #nellyfurtadonottheothernelly #nonotnellcarter #ornellieoelsonfromlittlehouseontheprairie #ifyoulikedherthenyoushouldaboughtheralbum #whoaohoh


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