Paula Deen’s Recipe For Whites-Only Cheddar Grits Seems Racist in Retrospect

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(This is a fake news story brought to you by your friendly neighborhood GayCo)

THE SOUTH – As TV chef and diabetic spokeswoman Paula Deen finds herself beleaguered by racist statements from her past, some of her favorite recipes are receiving new scrutiny as being blatantly bigoted.

“When you think of Paula, you used to think of butter and the indefatigable, raw muscularity of her arteries,” said Food Network spokeswoman Janine Goodson. “Now, we wonder if she wasn’t pushing a racist agenda this entire time.”

Some recipes that are receiving extra scrutiny include her Sesame Garlic KKKale, her summertime favorite WaterMelanin is Something That Scares Me Constantly Salad, her popular I Live in a Gated Community Because I Am Afraid of Poor Black Men Po’ Boys, her recent Reese’s (I Make Broad Generalizations About Entire Groups of People Based on Things I See on Two-Minute News) Pieces Double Cream Pie, and her classic Ethnic People Are Always the Deviled Eggs.

However, the recipe receiving the most media attention is her world-famous, prize-winning Whites Only Cheddar Grits.

“How did we not see this?” said Goodson. “It seems so obvious now.”

 

Paula’s Whites-Only Cheddar Grits

  • 3/4 cup milk

  • 1 egg

  • 1 tablespoon garlic powder

  • 1 dash hot pepper sauce

  • 4 cups water

  • 1 teaspoon salt

  • 1 cup quick-cooking grits

  • 1/4 cup butter

  • 12 ounces shredded sharp Cheddar cheese, divided

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a 2-quart baking dish.
  2. Beat milk, egg, garlic powder, and hot pepper sauce in a bowl.
  3. Bring water and salt to a boil in a saucepan; cook and stir grits in boiling water until thickened, 3 to 5 minutes. Remove from heat; add butter and about 1/2 of the Cheddar cheese. Stir egg mixture into grits and pour grits into the prepared baking dish. Sprinkle remaining Cheddar cheese over grits.
  4. Bake in the preheated oven until cheese is melted and grits are set, about 1 hour. Allow grits to cool 20 to 30 minutes before serving to white people ONLY.
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