Spike in Gold Lamé Fabric Internet Sales in IL


CHICAGO- As the Illinois General Assembly starts the floor debate on same sex marriage, Amazon.com and other major online retailers are reporting an upswing in gold lamé fabric sales. 
Since the announcement a little under an hour ago that a same sex marriage vote would happen today, online lamé fabric sales have increased 233% in the state of Illinois.  A spokesperson from Etsy.com, Rhonda Richards, offers the explanation, “I think the LGBT community is very excited and hopeful for a positive outcome on this vote. I think the community is displaying their excitement by going online and purchasing bulk lamé fabric.”
While it is unclear if the spike in sales is directly related to the Illinois Religious Freedom-Marriage Act, many see a direct correlation. Rod Sterling, an Equality IIllinois spokesperson, says “Well of course gold lamé sales are spiking! How else is our community supposed to celebrate?!? Pop open a bottle of champagne, put on a TiVo-ed episode of The Voice and start ordering shiny fabric. We deserve this.”
Other items seeing huge boosts in online sales include candy-flavored vodkas, taffeta, throw pillows, booties for small dogs, and the Bette Midler movie The Rose.


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