Thousands Line Up To Register For Type II Diabetes
DAYTONA BEACH, FL - Across the nation, thousands of Americans lined up at their local Chick-Fil-A restaurants to register for Type II Diabetes in what is being hailed as one of the disease’s most successful recruitment events ever.
“We’re overjoyed with the response,” said Eileen Farmsworth, a sales rep for Novo Nordsik, the world’s leading producer of insulin. “We can’t wait to introduce these new diabetics to our outstanding product.”
The event was the brainchild of national diabetes spokeman Mike Huckabee, in response to criticism from equality groups who say Chick-Fil-A is a dangerous organization.
“My body has a first amendment right to be intolerant toward glucose,” said Huckabee. “And I firmly believe in traditional insulin resistence: one malfunctioning beta cell, one microcrystal of insulin medication manufactured by a pharmaceutical corporation.”
With lines out the door, some in the crowd waited over an hour to begin their journey to Type II Diabetes.
“This is what America is all about,” said Tom Kruff, an electrician from Daytona Beach. “Also, gay people can suck my dick.”
Both Huckabee and Dan Cathy, vice president of Chick-Fil-A, hope this is the first of many Type II Diabetes Registration events. Farmsworth agrees, as her company has a long history of innovative ways of getting insulin injected into the abdomens of consumers.
“We try to get our product to market in a variety of fun ways,” said Farmsworth. “The Monopoly game at McDonald’s, Dorito-shell tacos at Taco Bell, bowl after bowl of inedible cheesy shit at KFC, but nothing has come close to igniting the kind of response we saw today at Chik-Fil-A.”