Hawaii Finally Comes To Terms With Its License Plates, Passes Gay Marriage



HONOLULU–Hawaiian Governor Neil Abercrombie is poised to sign a gay marriage bill that recently passed the state’s House and Senate, which would finally make the Aloha State as gay-friendly as its incredibly gay license plates.

“Love is love, ke aloha is ke aloha,” said Abercrombie on Wednesday morning. “I’m proud to be from a state that lets people show their true colors, be it through marriage or just pointing to their crazy-gay license plates.”

The license plates, which depict a sumptuous rainbow in a pristine arc, have been “werq-ing”¬†Hawaii’s roads for decades. Now that gay couples are allowed to wed, Abercrombie expects to see many rainbow plates bedecked with rainbow streamers, rainbow-colored cans, and rainbow-painted Just Married signs.

“Our islands are only going to get more fabulous,” he said. “Maui? More like Mow-waayyyy!”

Residents of Hawaii are already welcoming the 10,000% increase in radio plays of Israel Kamakawiwo’ole’s “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” which, until now, was the state’s best attempt at justifying its license plates.

“I always knew that somewhere over the rainbow license plates, way up high, there was a landmark piece of legislation that I’d heard of, once in a lull at work,” said Mark Bronson, a gay lawyer who vacations in Hawaii. “And now, it’s a reality. Someone, quick, call GayCo Productions and fly them all out here to celebrate and perform. I repeat: GAYCO NEEDS TO BE IN HAWAII!”

GayCo could not be reached for comment, as they were too busy packing sunscreen and staring patiently at the phone.


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