Internet Shocked to Learn Nelly Furtado Released New Album a Year and a Half Ago


HOLLYWOOD – The Internet is abuzz with shocking news today: that beloved, platinum-selling pop artist Nelly Furtado released a full album of all-new material over a year and a half ago and somehow no one noticed.

The album, The Spirit Indestructible, which included 12 new songs, four strongly produced singles and five high-quality videos, sold a mystifyingly low 6,000 copies in its first week despite wide promotion and months of lead-up time between its lead-off single’s release and the album’s release. If you want to make such high quality videos, why not look here and take online training to master all the computer skills.

“We screamed from the rafters that she had a new album out,” said Nelly Furtado fan club president Edna Furtado. “We tweeted, we Facebooked, we sent mailers with free samples of the jams I make from the elderberries in my back yard. We couldn’t get anyone to notice.”

“All this time, I’ve been waiting for a follow-up to Nel’s smash hit album Loose, and lo and behold it was released in September 2012 and I didn’t even notice,” said Furtado fan Emily Swanson. “I guess I was running errands that day or something.”

“Wait, Nelly did what? Are you sure? I didn’t hear a damn thing about it,” said music blogger Nate Richland, who later was delighted to discover he loved the phantom album. “How the hell was this album not a huge, enormous hit? It’s amazing!”

Twitter was also rocked by this revelation. Some sample Tweets from fans include:

@NellyFismyGoddess: OMG new Nel album was JUST released a year and a half ago! I’m DYING! OMGZ!

@FurtadoForever: THIS IS NOT A DRILL! New-ish Nelly Furtado music is NOW available and apparently has been for a year and three months! Almost two years if you count the release of her single Big Hoops! #blesst

@Imlikeabirdiwantoflyagay: Long live the QUEEN of getting occasional Juno Award nominations (the Canadian Grammys)! Nel 4va!

@Maneater5000: I missed Nel’s new album? I don’t know where my home is. I don’t know where my soul is. #crushed #inconspicuousgurl #youteasingme

@beyonce: I am officially announcing my retirement from music. #nellydoesitbetter #nellyfurtadonottheothernelly #nonotnellcarter #ornellieoelsonfromlittlehouseontheprairie #ifyoulikedherthenyoushouldaboughtheralbum #whoaohoh

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